High Expectations

By Manavi Chandra

How I uplifted myself: I’ve always wondered what it means when people say your expectations are too high. In this train of curiosity and frustration, I wrote this poem. Writing this poem helped me process the hurt and loneliness I was going through from many situations of being disrespected and insulted.

How I allowed others to uplift me: I did not anticipate the rude, insulting, and abusive reception this poem got in my poetry workshop. It felt ironic that I wrote a poem to process my emotions, but I was somehow being punished for it because of a few misinterpretations. I recognized that I couldn’t go through this alone. Luckily, I was surrounded by an amazing community of family, friends, and everyone in my internship cohort who uplifted me for writing this poem. I hope this poem is relatable and uplifts you the same way it uplifted me.  

High Expectations
By Manavi Chandra

You say that it’s my fault,
you say that my expectations were too high
when I didn’t have any expectations at all.

Weren’t you the one who made the fake promises?
You promise to help me break out of my shell,
But disappeared.
You called me your friend after asking me for help,
But disappeared.
You said multiple times you were excited to meet me.
But you disappeared again.

I felt like a piece of trash,
A yummy pumpkin pie savored until
it’s empty and thrown away.

How can it be my fault when it wasn’t me?
I never called you a friend,
I never asked you for everything. 
The only time you reappeared appeared was to tell me,
“Your expectations were too high.”

Maybe your expectations were too high.